You know, I am so extremely hard-headed and stubborn that it often gets in my way. It even gets in the way of my seeing the good in myself. Our chapel speaker today spoke about Revelation 3:16, "So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." I almost had to leave the room when he had a student stand up and read that scripture because I broke out in a cold sweat. I grew up horrified of this scripture. I remember as a child sitting in the pew at church listening to the old 'fire and brimstone' preachers beating the podium and spouting this scripture. I felt like a lion was going to leap off the stage any moment and devour me in one bite. I can remember thinking as a small child that I would never be good enough to be considered anything but lukewarm. Those preachers made us all feel like we were all just a disgusting taste in the Lord's mouth, and he couldn't wait to spit us out.
I've said before that I spent a great deal of my adult life trying to be good enough for God's grace. I felt like I had to be a part of every activity that happened at church either as a leader or an encouraging participant. I also had to make sure I punched my timecard for church on Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening. There came a time, though, when God no longer had my heart (if in fact he ever did), and I was becoming a bitter and worn out Christian.
I sat there today and listened to a grace-filled speaker talk about this scripture in such a different way, and suddenly a light bulb went off in my stubborn ol' head. It hit me that my heart is beautiful and my heart loves God. My forgiving attitude, acceptance of other people, and concern for the well-being of people are what God sees in me. These are the things that keep me from being lukewarm. Those are the talents that God gave to me and as long as I am using those to His glory, he will not spew me out of his mouth.
I am a beautiful, loveable woman with a forgiving heart.
Blessings,
Penny
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